Day 4. Let's not talk abt day 4.
Not successful yet again.
N i've got a bad case of diahorrea. the tummy doesn't hurt it just feels growly. Just you know like when u get a runny nose, it runs.
Don't remember eating anything tt didn't agree with me so there.
Felt like a xiang zhuo zou, xiang you zou moment with mr neighbour.
I think he felt intimidated somehow. =x
I'm scary. roar.
dian hua xiang qi le, ni yao shuo hua le
hai yi wei ni xin li dui wo you xiang nian le.
zhen me ni sheng yin bian de leng dan le?
shi ni bian le, shi ni bian le.
deng guang xi mie le, yin yue jing zhi le
di xia de yan lei yi ting bu zhu le
tian xia qi yu le, ren shi bu kuai le.
wo de xin zhen de shou shang le.
if i heard this then, i think i will die crying.Labels: baiganjiaoji
Day 3.
Reminds me of sec physics. 0 displacement = no work done.
I come back tired from work and meetings and when i get back home. After getting out of the shower i'm told "u don't support your father when he wants to go out"
how do u want me to go out. it's not tt i dun wanna spend time with the family. I'm very tired. I can't help it if i feel like jus lying on my bed n not moving. N i'd rather sleep cos i'd haf to wake up earlier tmr.
Without asking me why i don't wanna go or why i come home so late, they jus assume i'm a wet blanket and I don't wanna be involved in family activities.
N it's my fault cos if i dun wanna go, my brother doesn't wanna go.
i can't please everybody so just spare me.
Labels: Crappy
Day 2 of 28
nth accomplished. pooh.
In fact it felt like a step back because of the temptations.
Also am tired and sleepy and... oh my eyes.
tmr will be a better day...
Labels: sleepy
What goes around comes around...
Day 1 of 28.
No regrets. Jus waiting it out.
Sometimes i say bad things but i don't mean it, but how do u retract a statement after it's been blurted out? -shrug-
Labels: Contemplative
Someone recently said i was a doormat.
He said tt in jest but still i especially resent tt because i know wad he said was true.
To suck it all in.
To do thankless tasks.
Effort not acknowledged just feels like shit.
The part i hate most is not abt not being recognised, is when i'll still do it anyway.
I slog my ass out to complete it to the best of my abilities even if it eats me up.
I thought i was getting better but as the days go by I'm more and more unsure.I hate u when i see a mirror of you in me. I don't wanna be like that.I need a sabbatical.
Labels: Crappy
What do u wanna be when u grow up?
My mind has been filled with this concern as of late.
I know what I don't want but I don't know what I want.
But the reason why i don't want what I don't want seems like it stems from laziness more than anything else.
Must do something useful.
I wanna pack my room. soon.
Labels: Contemplative
2 days of not logging into the netwrk, and i couldn't get the password right. when i finally got through the next thing it told me was my password has expired and to type in the old one again and enter a new one in 2 separate fields. I tried a gazzilion gabillion times but it either kept saying I typed the wrong old password or the 2 fields of new password didn't correspond.
I didn't wanna ask the IT guy sitting just across me, cos the previous times i had trouble logging in was when i forgot my password and when i forgot to plug the network cable in. so in the attempt to not appear so dumbass to him again, I did the next dumbass thing of entering a gazzilion gabbillion times till i get it. The irony. Finally out of exasperation I hit 'Cancel', and lo and behold, I got in.
Who cares how I got in, as long as I get to do my wrk for the day. But I know tmr is gonna be another gazzilion gabbillion log-in attempt. Cos my mission tmr, if i choose to accept, (hurhur can't help myself) is to find out...
my new password.
Labels: Looney
I'm just too concerned with pleasing.
just do my best and let God deal with the rest.
Labels: unsure
Feeling increasingly OLD n muddleheaded. =(
I try so hard, n it's not enuff.
Labels: Crappy
What is considered a learning experience is vastly different from what I perceive. To me, every single thing, be it knowing office dynamics, when and what to say is new to me and good enough for me to document. Maybe I’m not learning what you feel I should be learning. In the past, even a child’s scrawling drawings deserve a Good Effort, if not a star-shaped sticker. But now, just because what you think I should be learning is not iterated in my writings, doesn’t mean I’m not getting much from it. It’s just not what you think is the “ideal”.
Why not you just tell me what I should be gaining from all these and spare me all the misery of appeasing your scrutiny every month.
Labels: grumble
When i feel crappy.
It just gets crappier.
Multitudes of it.
Would I be appeased if i passed it on?
me n my big mouth again.
argh. argh. argh. argh. argh. argh.
shock shock horror.
these memories just linger and refuse to leave meLabels: Crappy
Even if all the world hates u, don't worry. You have me.
It's times like this when i say to myself "it's alright, u can take me now."
when i know i dun really mean it.
wheeze.
Labels: Unloved.