Grr.. some pple really piss me off. I think my patience with pple is wearing thin. It's not a gd thing but sometimes i guess i haf to think abt me me me me me for a change. Why get myself angry/frustrated/disgruntled over somebody else's problems. I must b selfish for a change. yay~! I dun care. i dun care. i dun care. If i dun care i won't b feeling angry rite? damn. Don't take it out on me man, i'm not ur chu qi tong. I shouldn't mix wif unstable pple. I'm sorry all u unstable pple out there, it's not tt i dun want to help but i think i'm unstable too so i won't b of much help, n presently i dun feel like helping. It's after As, i want to b happy. Happy happy happy. Pls let me b happy.
I wanna do so many things. They're so many tt i dunno wad they r. I wanna pick up a skill. I wanna find a job. I wanna make stuff. I wanna watch movies. I wanna watch tv. I wanna go exploring s'pore. I wanna luff till my tummy hurts. I want to find a erhem... *cough cough*. oh well.. just for the fun of it.
My vocab here is absolutely limited. I try to use mild, politically correct words so as to not offend. I wonder whether i shld elaborate more but i think going in depth would b too much of an exposure into me n i'm uncomfortable wif tt. Yet, i want pple to know it, i dun want to keep it all in. How weird. Is tt wad steph terms as "voyeuristic tendencies"?
It's all over... wee~ Didn't reallie feel relief come over me once i handed in the paper but man did i feel happy! *dances ard* no more books,no more notes. Went out wif sj, hs, lala, melissa, lisa, pc, so fun! I really enjoy outings wif da girls. i can't wait for Sat and mon! weee~
I believe tt when u get too used to something, some place or someone. U'd b itching to do tt something, visit tt someplace and see tt someone. Perhaps it's just like having a habit. It's tt emotional attachment tt builds through time tt makes u wanna relish the feeling all over again. So perhaps it's just a matter of getting used to. U'd gradually learn to embrace pple u dun reallie like over time. Similarly, u'll grow to love pple tt u already like. Look at Chang n Eng, din they say siblings tend to quarrel n stuff? But look at them, both huge families living together happily.. err.. at least they look happy in photographs. Y? cos they're stuck together, in sickness n in health till death they're still conjoined. I think they got used to being together.
I guess everything can b handled, once I get used to it. We're all stronger than we think. The feeling of lost n sadness is temparory n are just reactions by our bodies to try to adjust to the situation. When we get a new something, a new place, a new someone. These feelings will disappear over time.. *Poof* They'll all b just memories.
"this intrusion shall, seemingly sweet, covert to bitterest gall" Mercutio
I hope i got tt right. It suddenly popped into my head.
I'm enjoying it now but i'm gonna pay dearly for it. =/ The final final lap... 2 more to go.. I have a paper later, but i'm still here. *luffs*
Oh man.. i'm becoming "stupider n stupider". ah..... shove it shove it.
I was abit late argghhhh..... kek. I think i'm addicted.
Addicted -Simple Plan
I heard you're doin' okay But I want you to know
I'm addic- I'm addicted to you
I can't pretend I don't care
When you don't think about me
Do you think I deserve this?
I try to make you happy
But you left anyway
I'm tryin' to forget
But I'm addicted to you
But I wanted
And I needed
I'm addicted to you
Now it's over Can't forget what you said
And I never Want to do this again
Heartbreaker Heartbreaker Heartbreaker
Since the day I met you
And after all we've been through
Still addic- I'm addicted to you
I think you know that it's true
I'd run a thousand miles to get to you
Do you think I deserve this
I tried to make you happy
I did all that I could
Just to treat you good in every way
I'm tryin' to forget
But I'm addicted to you But I wanted
And I needed I'm addicted to you
Now it's over Can't forget what you said
And I never Want to do this again
Heartbreaker Heartbreaker Heartbreaker
How long will I be waiting
Till the end of time
I don't know why I'm still waiting
I can't make you mine
I'm trying to forget But I'm addicted to you
But I wanted And I needed
I'm addicted to you
I'm trying to forget
But I'm addicted to you
But I wanted And I needed
I'm addicted to you
Now it's over Can't forget what you said
And I never Want to do this again
Heartbreaker Heartbreaker Heartbreaker
wad a stupid song.
So Yesterday -Hilary Duff
You can change your life- if you wanna
You can change your clothes- if you wanna
If you change your mind
Well, that's the way it goes
But I'm gonna keep your jeans
And your old black hat- cause I wanna
They look good on me
You're never gonna get them back
At least not today, not today, not today 'cause
[CHORUS:]
If it's over, let it go and
Come tomorrow it will seem
So yesterday, so yesterday
I'm just a bird that's already flown away
Laugh it off let it go and
When you wake up it will seem
So yesterday, so yesterday
Haven't you heard that I'm gonna be okay
You can say you're bored- if you wanna
You can act real tough- if you wanna
You can say you're torn
But I've heard enough
Thank you... you made my mind up for me
When you started to ignore me
Do you see a single tear
It isn't gonna happen here
At least not today, not today, not today 'cause
[CHORUS]
If you're over me, I'm already over you
If it's all been done, what is left to do
How can you hang up if the line is dead
If you wanna walk, I'm a step ahead
If you're moving on, I'm already gone
If the light is off then it isn't on
At least not today, not today, not today 'cause
[CHORUS 2X]
So it's a matter of choice. I chose to b in this state, i momentarily forgot tt fact. Thank u for reminding me.
I've become a worrywort. I've become a pessismist. Oh someone save me. *luffs myself silly*
Some pple can make me feel oh so sad. =`(
Lalala.. new frens new frens... wad goes in must come out?
Bye bye love, bye bye happiness.. hello loneliness... I think i'm gonna cry, gdbye my baby gdbye.
Someday this place will haf to go. When tt day comes i will know tt i've truely let it all go.
2 more papers baby u can do it!
Oh my oh my... i just read someone's blog n the person reminds me of me.
Got this off her blog.
"If you hate a person, you hate something in something in him that is a part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us. - Hermann Hesse, Demian"
I've always believed in this. This forms my basis for family squabbles, because family members tend to display traits so similar tt it gets on my nerves. I dun hate them... i hate me. I realised tt i'm becoming more n more like my parents. I sound like my father when i reprimand my brother and i dun realise it till i've said something nasty. =/
Pple who do stuff tt i find irritating tend to b the exact stuff tt i would do. =( Contradicting?
The more i think abt my life my purpose, the more i feel insignificant. S'pore might b a red dot on the world map, but feel like a plankton in s'pore. Ridiculous analogy i know but i feel just like tt now. I want to live my life purposefully... Not like this. Whateva is purposeful living? To live for something? To live for someone? I dunno specifically. All i know is tt when i'm living purposefully, i'll know it. I don't know alot of things. =/
I feel stupid. haha i'm even beginning to sound stupid.
Kiss me-Six Pence None The Richer
Kiss me out of the bearded barley.
Lightly, beside the green, green grass.
Swing, swing, swing the spinning step.
You wear those shoes and I will wear that dress.
Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight.
Lead me out on the moonlit floor.
Lift your open hand.
Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance,
silver moon's sparkling.
So kiss me.
Kiss me down by the broken tree house.
Swing me high upon its hanging tire.
Bring, bring, bring your flowered hat.
We'll take the trail marked on your father's map.
Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight.
Lead me out on the moonlit floor.
Lift your open hand.
Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance,
silver moon's sparkling.
So kiss me.
I'm feeling betta. Less stressed. Slept soundly last nite. Nth's changed. Still slacking mode. But i don't feel supressed anymore. Not today anyway. Not after yesterday's mass. Really appreciated her listening to all my crap but maybe i shldn't haf done tt. Humans haf a way of influencing each other. I tell u, hugs do wonders. =0) Thank u all my lovely wuvely friends. *hugs*
Last nite i was alone, everone went to Malacca 'cept poor ol' me. But it is alright. There won't b any need to wash clothes(cos i dunno how to operate the new washing machine), feed fish (cos the big one died), no it's not gonna b another 10 days, they'll b back today. Bye bye peace n quiet. The irony of it is tt, when there're ard its too noisy, when they're not ard i turn on the tele cos it's too quiet.
Read all abt enzymatic n non-enzymatic browning of food. Interesting~ now i noe how supermarkets trick us into believing that their packaged meat is all fresh. I'm boycotting supermarket meat!! No just kidding.
Today is physics day. Hip hip hooray.
I'm veri veri veri veri vexed. Y am i not studying? Y dun i feel the urgency. Ur chem paper 2 sucked. u're gonna fail chem. 2 days gone liao. study u idiot. stop wasting ur precious time, u can waste ur 6mths away for all i care. study study. Kinda feel like 2 pple. The angel n the devil. One side of me keeps nagging me to get to it or regret later, yet the other side seems stronger. I feel like crap, like a blabbering idiot. I'm wallowing in self-pity!!! argh. disgusting.
y issit so hard. it's not hard wad. plain simple. sit down study. study, do urself a favour. do ur parents a favour. dun waste 2 yrs. Dun disappoint everyone. At times like these, i really hate myself. Wads the use of all these shit.
ris·i·ble adj. Capable of laughing or inclined to laugh.
hello. It's u again. y r u here?
-shrugs- ni hao ma?
hai ke yi, hai huo zhe. xian zai hen men. men? bu shi yao hui kao le ma?
ya.y are u still wasting ur time? time is of the essence.
orh. y are u having a conversation wif urself? r u nuts?
no not reallie. peanuts. cashew nuts.
I was reading Raymond Goh's article in 8 days n it was damn funnie. It was his rebuttal towards unhappy Clay Aiken's fans because he gave Clay's album a 2.5 stars out of 5. Now tts wad i call witty shit. Some luffter to brighten up my grey grey day.
zui ai ni de ren shi wo, ni zhe me she de wo nan guo?
zai wo zui xu yao ni de shi hou, ni mei shuo yi ju hua jiu zou.
zui ai ni de ren shi wo, ni zhe me she de wo nan guo?
wo fu chu le zhe me duo, ni que mei you gan dong guo. i-dunno-wad by i-dunno who.
Watched tt 9pm chi show. I don't even know wads the title, something abt a 'roof'. -shrugs- Anyway, the girl in the show breaks under the immense pressure of stress n goes crazy. Ok.. so she's not mental. She just couldn't stop writing her name on her O lvl answer script, kept washing her hands n started smoking. I absolutely feel for her. Just tt i dun keep washing my hands. i dun smoke n i dun keep writing my name. My hands would ache man, 18 lettas over n over. woo.. imagine if lala were to write her name. ouch.
I do feel the anxiety, the fear of not being to recall the definitions, the formulas, the graphs. AHhhhhh... Though i dun show it. It's latent i guess. I feel it so much tt i dun dare to touch my notes. I dun want to look at them cos they just won't go in. Maybe pple see it as just some lame excuse not to study. But i want to. I really want to. I'm afraid tt i'll look at the paper go frantic, hyperventilate n faint. Every morning i wake up, another day has gone. Every nite i sleep, another day has gone... argh. Y do we always feel the pressure during exams. Y don't i start cramming if i feel the pinch. y y y?
1 more week... till the excitement begins. woopie... Aren't u'll a least bit excited??