Wednesday, December 31, 2003
The last day of 2003. I'm going to end today uneventfully, gonna spend some time wif family. This yr was a trying year but it was interesting nonetheless. With As, end of j2 life, end of certain events. Next yr, i'm gonna persue wad i like n not go wif the flow. I've decided tt i dun wanna teach cat class anymore. I'm gonna change.I'm tired. My feet aches, my back aches, my neck aches, my heart aches. ouch. For reasons i cannot comprehend. For thoughts i cannot understand. Some questions are better left unasked.
Imagination is such a wonderful thing. It seems so real yet intangible n transient. It makes me believe tt i have something which in actual fact does not exist. I wish to dwell in my made-up reality but i know once i delve into it getting out would shatter me. Fleeting bliss is wad i yearn but it's not wad i want.
Y do things haf to change? Just when i'm contented wif the situation, everything changes again. Restart.
Sunday, December 28, 2003
I wished they'd stop shouting at each other. Y can't they all shut up. Everybody shut up n there will b no more fighting. shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up. It's times like this when i reallie wish i was alone at home. I reallie don't understand y can't 4 pple live harmoniously under one roof. N as if it's not noisy enuff, she has to turn the bloody radio volume to the max. I can't shut the noise out. I'd rather b online, at least i can feel like i'm away frm it all.Monday, December 22, 2003
Today sebas together took Jamie, dot n me to Clarke quay to see live jazz bands performing. Supposed to meet his fren at ard 8pm but we were a too early so we took the train to Raffles' city n decided to walk through boat quay. Passed by Fullerton, decided to drop in n take a look-see and use their restrooms. When i went in, it was "Waahh.." Nice posh place all lit up for x'mas, polished marble flooring, wif a large indoor koi-filled pond n a revolving door. =P Oh n they haf nice transparent glass wash basins n a sofa in the restroom.The walk through boat quay was great, wif the cooling breeze blowing in my face and the calm rippling of the water waves. It's a different feeling in when u're there in the morn. I decided tt i wanna go back to sit n stone someday.
The first pub we went to was called 'Crazy Elephant'. The performing area had this picture of an elephant as the backdrop n i had this deja vu feeling tt i've seen this scene b4. How perculiar. Jamie ordered a jug of coconuty-alcoholic-wif 7-up drink i cannot remember the name but it was not bad, tasted sweet n din haf the strong smell of alcohol in it. The band consists of middle aged angmoh peeps wif a cute younger drummer and were playing songs tt had country-blues kinda feel. After 4-5 songs I got bored. =P The female vocalist was not bad but the songs felt kinda similar. The 2 guys were still staring intently at the guitarist. -_-a It's not tt i dun wanna join in the intent staring but
1. my view was blocked by some japanese pple
2. i'm getting bored(n i'm not the only one jamie n dot were bored too)
3. i dun reallie get wad they're so fascinated abt
left that place without sebas' fren cos apparently he was gonna perform there later. Heard tt his fren's father's fren owns the pub. I dun reallie care man. His fren is reallie -_- it's a long explaination, this will b a story for another time.
Next stop, was Harry's bar at the other side of the river. That was wad we went for man, jazz. Piano, bass, drum set, guitar... All throughout the songs, sebas aka music directory was telling me abt the players, improvisation n stuff. Mmmm ok... I think i sorta get it. It's cool how they use their creativity to come up wif the solos just by following the chords, everthing was so impromptu. A black lady, heard tt she was also performing at the Reagent Hotel, sang a few no.s. Wow... I feel abit suaku, but i've neva heard singers like tt upclose. Her lung power was stupendous. ok exaggeration. =P
After tt we proceeded back home. Whilst waiting for the Night Rider this taxi pulled up n the driver said "no midnite charge" After discussion we hopped on the taxi. N the driver was made conversation wif us. He was asking abt the pubs n clubbing, n he told us tt he was over one of the clubs along Mhd Sultan wif his daughter the other day dancing. woah hip uncle. He was asking abt ladies nite cos he was thinking of going to 'Angel' (err.. i think so) the next time wif his wife n daughter. Woahh hip auntie too. Luckily Jamie was there to entertain all his queries cos she's the veteren n the rest of us were clueless. Noticed tt the uncle wasn't wearing any safety belt. -_- Den he asked abt the soccer match b/w man U n i-dunoe-who which was ongoing. He den made a phone call to ask abt the match score wif the help of sebas dialing the no. for him, mind u, he wasn't using a ear piece. Next he speeded like nobody's business. The thingie tt makes a tinkling sound when a taxi goes abv a certain speed limit, was like background count rate read by a GM tube, always present. Frm my position i could see the speedometer n he did a 150km/h. I made sure i had my safety belt on man. Gd thing abt it was reached home quite early round 1.30am. Took a nice warm shower, I totally reeked of smoke n i think my hair still faintly smells of it till now. =(
Sunday, December 21, 2003
i hate J35846 n his twin bro J87465 ahh idiots, idiots. i hate blehdy idiots who blehdy blantantly despise me. I'm trying hard not to use expletives. i will not use vulgarities arggggh... Hate is such a strong word which i dun use much. But i hate them!! spoilt my otherwise pleasant day. I can't believe i let them get on my nerves again. I will ignore them, their bullsh*t n wat not.Friday, December 19, 2003
I'm extremely bored n when u're bored u read blog entries. After u've read all u can, u type entries. There u go, it explains exactly what i'm doing now. Even though i haf nth reallie impt to say, i just haf to continue typing cos other than tt i cannot think of anything else interesting to do. Seriously, i wouldn't read this cos it's gonna b nth but rambling, u might wanna stop reading now u know.As the days go by, i realise i'm taciturn. I'm not slowly becoming like tt, i'm already like tt. It's just tt i'm being made more aware of it as i grow older.
Thursday, December 18, 2003
Today i've been bombarded wif bad news. Lemme see, tts a total of 5 unhappy incidents i've heard today. It's not bad news to me, it's other pple's bad news. But somehow it kinda dampened my day. It's instances like this when i dunno wad comforting words to offer or advice to give. But i shld tell myself it's none of my business rite?Grrr... i'm irritated. Since when has it been not ok to haf me not ard. Suddenly it's "pls pls pls", sorry not interested. I'm so proud i din say yes, even if i did nth but sleep n watch tv. Maybe i'm turning anti-social, perhaps i've always been. I think i can't stay at home alone the whole day, i get real lonely and depressed. Just thinking that i could b outside doing gdness-knows-what, instead of sitting at home doing gdness-knows-what really kills me. haha.
Took the basic theory vroom vroom paper today. I love MCQs especially those u can shade in ink cos then i won't haf to spend alot of effort shading as compared to when i use pencil. They've got pretty funny options as answers and i would haf laughed out loud if i wasn't taking a test. Why shldn't u drive to close to the car infront of u? Ans: Or else u would b able to see the other cars license plate. Oh n tt would b a grave sin? And y would i wanna see the license plate no. of the car infront of me? So tt i could buy 4D? It might b his ATM no.? Or maybe if i accidentally crash into him i could sue him for damages before he accuses me of tailgating. Fyi: tt is not the correct answer.
I am seriously turning looney. Oh yes looney tunes is a violent show, pls do not watch it. Save it for 'Love actually' or 'LOTR'. 'Love actually' was great actually. Just like 'Elf', it has the chrismassy feel to it which adds to the festive mood. In addition it's abt love! I just love love. Someone said tt it's the company tt determines whether such a show is nice. You think so? Anyway, u might wanna consider 'Brother Bear', brotherly love and who betta to watch it wif than ur brudder. He ain't heavy, he's my brother. No brother? It's alright, pay for my movie ticket n i'll b ur bro for the day.
Oh yes.. i haf to announce my first accomplishment for the holidays! *drumroll* I learnt how to play international chess!! (Cue: clap enthusiastically) Thanks john, now i can play Chess puzzle on my phone! yay! Anyone game for a game of chess? And yes i'm this bored. Don't nag me to get a job ok.. My father's been asking me everytime he sees me "Eh not going for interview ah?" -_- The more he says it, the more i dun feel like looking. Just like the more he tells me to get up in the mornin' the longer i'll take my time to get out of bed. I'm rebellious muahaha.... oh rubbish. So dun nag me ok? remind me. *grins*
Sunday, December 14, 2003
Find me by David gatesThe skies are not as blue, when you're not with me
The stars, they never seem to shine as bright
And the hours crack like days across the ages
And a year or two pass by with every night.
It makes me know if i should ever leave this world before you do
When you follow you must promise, cross your heart and promise to
(Chorus)
Find me...look hard, and dont stop, I'll be waiting 'till then
Dont sleep, and dont eat 'till I'm back, back in your arms again
I dont wanna have to spend all my forever without you.
Just knowing that your out there somewhere too.
So darlin...please I'm begging you on bended knee...
Find me...
I've tried to tell this world how much i love you.
But they dont understand how deep it goes.
And i can't even find the words to tell you
So I'm the only one who really knows.
And though we have our times together, I am always wanting more
So if we get separated wont you do just like before and
(Chorus 2)
Find me...look hard and dont stop, I'll be waiting 'till then
Dont sleep, and dont eat 'till I'm back, back in your arms again
Through a hundred million faces you will see me shinning through.
'Cause I'll glow when you come close , I always do.
So darlin' please im begging you on bended knee..
We can share our love through all eternity
'Cause with you is all i ever wanna be......
Find me
Oh man.. i love david gates' songs. Brings a tear to my eye.
Saturday, December 13, 2003
I just came back frm the ITE Jazz band cum CO concert at SCH. The band was not bad at all, the songs were catchy the spirit was there. Their CO was a lil lacking in numbers but they sounded alright cos their wind section was gd n they chose the right songs to suit their abilities. Found out tt their 2 (out of 3) dizi players were frm sco, tt figures. Oh did i mention tt one of them looked rather shuai. He even played a catchy pop dizi solo. Talent n looks, not bad. aiya forget it... i'm finding harder n harder to type blog entries. To constantly review wad i'm posting up, to watch my words or wateva msg i might b sending out. The words dun flow and my actual meanings dun get conveyed, gets a lil frustrating sometimes. Maybe i shld just type wateva comes to mind. Or maybe not. argh.Baked brownies n cookies wif charm n char in the morning. The brownies were brown to the extent of looking black. =P I think it's still edible. Meant to b a belated birthday surprise for Wenyi tmr. Aren't we sweet. I'm happy we didn't burn down the kitchen. I ate so many pringles n drank so much mug root beer tt i think i'm gonna get a sore throat.
These few days i haf been accidently stepping in puddles. *splosh* I hate the wet feeling when my feet gets in the water n my shoes get wet. Everytime i'd remind myself to look out for puddles the next time but i still get into them once i let my guard down. It's a like life isn't it? Once i let my guard down, life splashes me wif a bucket of cold water. To wake me up, to get me back to reality. To mock me, to remind me of how insignificant i am. why, thank u for tt refreshing bath.
I heard "kissing a fool" 3 times today. Over the radio, at NTUC, on sebas' discman. y r u following me?
Friday, December 12, 2003
The prom was ok. The food sucked but the company was great. It's been 2 days liao.. guess the excitement is over. But i must say, everybody looked gorgeous. The guys looked suave n the girls looked so elegant. It was refreshing to see everyone all dolled up.. oh well i'm quite sick of it already. I had fun at melissa's hse, playing heartattack, bridge, singing, luffing myself silly. I reallie enjoyed the sleepover wif u guys. Merser, lala, yz, u weren't really supposed to sleep u pigs! At least merv, yc, alvin n xm lasted through the nite. Y didn't we take a grp pic!! argh. wasted. This would b the first n probably the last time we'd haf a sleepover n i dun haf pics to remember it by. =`(2 yrs really fly by. We're all going our seperate ways. It's a pity tt i can't get to know each one of u really well but i'm glad tt our paths cross n we could b classmates. I'll treasure the memories...the total defence day rap, the sars prj, the chalet, the birthday parties, the airport outings, the lessons, the practicals, the breaks, the gossiping, the laughter, the togetherness. Thank u guys, smarties who were walking encyclopedias n walking joke books. hey hey i'm not saying tt u'll were clowns or anything... u all just tickle me silly. Thank u girls, u reallie made my days in sch worthwhile. jing, lala, merser, stef, sj, shan shan, lisa, pc, elza. I will definately miss the grp hugs we did b4 each paper(yes william included).
Monday, December 08, 2003
Holidays r great, but it sucks when u haf nth to do, nowhere to go, no one to go wif. Maybe i shld haf gone to sentosa. *yawns* bored stiff. I haf so many stuff to do, if only i knoe wad they r. Darn. Harlo my dear frens, wad r u'll doing?Felt stupid yesterday... y am i so stupid. I will not go through it again.
Tmr's da prom, i'm excited. yay~ Let's hope i haf fun ya.
Saturday, December 06, 2003
I had a lovely dream last nite. Been so long since i had one, din wanna get up.I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm supposed to b at alumni prac but i woke up late so din go. Actuallie i dun feel like it thus i woke up late. Tts bad rite. notti girl. I reallie dun feel like participating anymore, but i've already signed up n stuff, so i'd haf to fulfill tt obligation. (Note to myself: neva sign up for anything unless u reallie reallie reallie reallie want it.) Flipped throught the classfied ads to look for jobs, couldn't find anything suitable. There's reallie alot of jobs available just tt either they're located too far away, require min job experience, or haf to do wif sales. I hate sales! =/ Hmm.. i'm just being picky rite.. I just just try 'em all for the fun of it. Now's not the time to make money, now's the time to gain experience. Get the feel of the outside world so to speak. I'm not really bothered abt the pay. There's plenty of time to make money after completing education. However, i dun think i will wanna wrk a 5day week permanantly. It's the holidays!! I'm suppose to enjoy myself not slog my way through it.
Yesterday i heard a disturbing comment frm a fren abt some sec 4 kids essay in a school publication. He was telling me tt the way it was written shows no depth n was ridiculous, he didn't remember writing like tt when he was sec 4 n he n his frens were luffing at it. When i heard tt i got a lil disgusted. 1st things first, i dun think it's polite to laugh at someone's essay, no matter how ridiculous or immature it sounds. You may think ur language is superb but i think u must remember tt not everyone is like u. Different pple excel in different areas, so dun think u're so great. Essays r afterall practises meant to improve ones english, if we expect every essay to b written without flaws den wads the purpose of them anyway. I think wad irks me the most is the way he said it, it felt as if he was snubbing the person's essay. I believe tt no matter wad, writing an essay requires alot of hard wrk frm an individual. Even if u do not think tt the persons language is up to ur standard u shld acknowledge the fact tt it was hard wrk on his part. There is always something gd in everything, u're just not looking hard enuff!!
I've been thinking. There r so many pple in the world, wouldn't it b amazing to find tt someone is thinking the exact same thoughts tt i haf at this pt of time. A lil like bananas in pyjamas. Betta yet, many pple r havin the exact same thoughts.
Would someone b thinking abt me at this pt of time?
Thursday, December 04, 2003
Watched Elf wif John today, nice show. Although the storyline was predictable, I didn't mind all the lovey dovey stuff. X'mas is abt love! Come gimme a big hug! Sprinkles gold dust. I feel all x'massy already. But there will b no carolling this yr. aww... sad. It's alright i'll do my own x'mas carolling at the comfort of my own home. *picks up mic* "hem hem..." I remember last yr's carolling wif the sec3 kids.. ah.. those were the days. So much has changed within one yr. We've all moved on.On my way home I was thinking, after going out wif so many pple, the most gentlemanly of them all is still a 14 yr old boy.
The x'mas song
Chestnuts roasting on an open fire, Jackfrost nipping at your nose.
Yuletide carols being sung by a choir, n folks dressed up like eskimos.
Everybody knows a turkey n some mistletoe, help to make the season bright
Tiny tots wif their eyes all aglow will find it hard to sleep tonight.
They know tt santa's on his way, he's loading lots of toys n goodies on his sleigh
And every mother's child is gonna spy to see whether reindeer reallie know how to fly
And so i'm offering this simple phrase, to kids from one to ninety-two
Although it's been said, many times, many ways,
Merry x'mas... to u.
Wednesday, December 03, 2003
I must say, holidays r physically strenuous. Today's the 2nd day of "operation-recuperate-frm-muscle ache" after 4 straight days of shopping. my feet ache, my arms ache, my shoulders ache, Hmm tts because of alumni co prac. Ohhhh i miss co.... but somehow after 1 practise it has lost it's novelty, but at least i get to see pple. =P Hey... whoever wanna watch the alumni co concert (or rather, watch me!), it's at SCH, 26Dec 12 bucks. Buy tix frm me ok? Sorry mervin. =P heh.