Today i told myself i'd finish my homework but i slacked my day away arghhhhhhhhhh... I just finished one essay, one out of twelve, shoots. Please, can someone get me out of the vicious 'Slacking cycle'. Day in day out, for 17 full years of my life, i've been slacking, stoning, staring. Aiya, whats wrong with me. Lazy lazy lazy, procrastination. bleah... anyway, i was looking at my friend's essay for reference and i starting drifting away losing concentration, (no not that his essay was no good, in fact it was well written i wouldn't be able to write like that) I looked at my newsweek issue, opened but still inside the plastic wrapping, ( the only reason why i opened it was to get the paper with my address on it cos i needed rough paper =P) I flipped through it, and lo and behold, all the main points i read in the essay could be found in it. Coincidence? He couldn't have gotten it from the issue cause it's dated way after he wrote his essay. wow. Or maybe the one above has sent me aid hehe darn ain't i lucky but i'm too lazy to continue writing. (but i'm typing this -_-) 1 essay is the max i can tahan per day, that means i need 11 days. ah. ok ok. *deep breath* relax relax. aiya i dun care i give up. i quit.
(By the way, this is typed yesterday)
"Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" from Monty Python's "Life of Brian"
Cheer up, Brian. You know what they say.
Some things in life are bad,
They can really make you mad.
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you're chewing on life's gristle,
Don't grumble, give a whistle!
And this'll help things turn out for the best...
And...
(the music fades into the song)
...always look on the bright side of life!
(whistle)
Always look on the bright side of life...
If life seems jolly rotten,
There's something you've forgotten!
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing,
When you're feeling in the dumps,
Don't be silly chumps,
Just purse your lips and whistle -- that's the thing!
And... always look on the bright side of life...
(whistle)
Come on!
(other start to join in)
Always look on the bright side of life...
(whistle)
For life is quite absurd,
And death's the final word.
You must always face the curtain with a bow!
Forget about your sin -- give the audience a grin,
Enjoy it -- it's the last chance anyhow!
So always look on the bright side of death!
Just before you draw your terminal breath.
Life's a piece of shit,
When you look at it.
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true,
You'll see it's all a show,
Keep 'em laughing as you go.
Just remember that the last laugh is on you!
And always look on the bright side of life...
(whistle)
Always look on the bright side of life
(whistle)
I like this song. I'm listening to it over and over again while i type this. My motto: Always look on the bright side of life. (not in that phrasing but the gist of it is that) Nice nice... it's easy for me to do this. I've alot of practise now it comes naturally. Whenever i meet some rotten situation or experience people who do things that hurt, it's easy for me to come up with an good explaination for what is happening or rather you can say i'd be making excuses for people. If it makes life bearable and if i feel better why not? A little self deception always helps. I can't be the worst person trapped in the worst situation... There's always someone else experiencing tougher times and coping with it. What's mine compared to theirs... I can handle it. =0)
Happy x'mas eve everyone... School's reopening arggggghhh... I don't want!!~ It's not because of the thought of uncompleted homework or the thought of having tests all over again, it's the thought of not being able to speak as often to him. sad sad sad. I know everyone is busy. Cannot be avoided. It's ok i'll survive. It really has been 'Sweet December', having a close friend to tell everything to is wonderful. The thought of someone giving thought to what you've done today, what you'll be doing tomorrow creates a feeling that maybe you matter afterall. But i have to stop getting use to it. bohoo. It makes living worthwhile eh? People are funny creatures... so interdependent, cannot live without one another... how sweet~
Trouble by Coldplay
O no, I see,
I spun a web, it's tangled up with me,
And I lost my head,
The thought of all the stupid things I said,
O no what's this?
A spider web, and I'm caught in the middle,
I turned to run,
The thought of all the stupid things I've done,
I never meant to cause you trouble,
And I never meant to do you wrong,
And I, well if I ever caused you trouble,
O no, I never meant to do you harm.
O no I see,
A spider web and it's me in the middle,
So I twist and turn,
Here I am in love in a bubble,
Singing, I never meant to cause you trouble,
I never meant to do you wrong,
And I, well if I ever caused you trouble,
Although I never meant to do you harm.
They spun a web for me,
They spun a web for me,
They spun a web for me.
There's a moody feel to coldplay's songs. After listening to it for hours i get a little tipsy... The funny thing is that it's still addictive even after a million replays. I like the beginning of this song alot... It just grabbed my attention when i first heard it. Calming effect, dreamy feel to it. I dunno, maybe it's because he let me listen to it, den again he let's me hear so many stuff that i can't remember all of them. But this was one of those that caught my attention. I think the lyrics are meaningful. "I never meant to cause you trouble, And I never meant to do you wrong, And I, well if I ever caused you trouble, O no, I never meant to do you harm." I'm afraid of bringing inconvenience to anybody... guess this line would best depict what i feel. When people offer me anything my first reaction would be, "No thank you". Not that i don't appreciate it or i don't want their help i just don't want to trouble them. When i don't call, it doesn't mean i don't want to. It's just that i don't want to disturb or be a hinderance or take up their time... But no action it'll be useless right? Who'll know?
Today i feel relieved. I had to make a decision between going for my sec cca gathering or going for carolling practice. I still was undecided last night. On one hand i really wanted to go for the gathering yet i feel that since carolling is i service, i can forgo the fun. No i'm not saying that carolling isn't fun, it is. But how often do i get to see my sec sch cca pals? I made the decision to go for carolling prac in the end cause i asked my fren whether she could handle it if i wasn't there. She said "huh.. but one person..:".That was when i made my decision. "Ask and you shall recieve" heh... I'm such a sucker. If anyone asks for my help or asks for anything from me, I'll try my best to do it cause i feel that since the person makes the effort to ask (wif sincerety tt is) I will do it. If not i'll feel bad...=P Maybe because if someone asks for my help, it makes me feel useful haha. It's nice to feel needed.
He was sad yesterday... I could'nt do much to comfort. How useless right? I so much want to give him a hug. Of course i couldn't. I wish he's feeling better. I dunno. I'll see how on Monday.
I dunno whether i'm putting on a front. I react to different people in different ways. Everyone sees a different side of me, nobody has really seen it all. No i do not do it on purpose. It just happens. Please don't assume that i do not care... i do really. I'm just not good at expressing it. You say you know how much you mean to me but u dunno whether i know how much i mean to u. Well. u're right. I don't know.