today was busy busy busy. Noticed i haven't said anything abt wrk here 'cept abt the first day of wrk. Don't wanna gif the sch a chance to sue me for blabberin confidential info though i haven't sign any confidentiality clauses like those i did over at C*F (hehe this one also betta not reveal though most of u shld know) Oh for those of u who duno, i'm not a relief tcher, i'm a clerk now. a type type type, hello hello hello, file file file, sort sort sort, run here run there clerk. Sch clerks r amazing. Seriously, they do EVERYTHING. They're nurses, telephone operators, nannies, secretaries, CSOs all rolled into one. I salute them all. *salutes* =P
I was sent the the lib in the mornin cos sharon didn't come. Ho ho ho so fun to b a librarian. I especially enjoy scanning the books (who doesn't rite?), I love the way it goes *deeet*. =P But if i'm gonna b stuck there the whole day i'm gonna b veri bored. Sure there's a whole lotta bks out there but there's no one to talk to. erm ok i dun talk alot so let's change tt to, there'll b no human presence. It will b lonely... oh so lonely... I finished a chi comic bk while i was there can't wait to read more. muahaha. I think i'm getting the hang of life there, afterall i've lasted 1mth plus liao. reasonable pay, distance short, pple nice. wad more can i ask for? more free time perhaps? agl so fussy! more like plain lazy. The kids r quite cute, if only some of them would quit calling me 'auntie'. Guess it's acceptable la, for the P1s i'll b 12 yrs older than them. Tts a full 1 zodiac cycle. So they're cows like me. Moo...
I can recognise n name some of the tchers liao. Today was very surprised tt one tcher called me by name cos i couldn't remember hers. Gotta check tt one up. Now i've got to sort out the Miss n the Mrs, veri hard to remember who belongs to which. hm hm.
Tmr's gonna b a gd day. =) Off day.
sheeet.. It's one of those i-dun-wanna-sleep-cos-tmr-got-wrk nights. argh i bth bth bth. My neck aches like nobody's business. Tmr i'm gonna b puffy eyed again. Agl is crazy. Yesterday was fun.... so nice to see my nice classmates. sorry for being half n hr late guys. i really told the mrt uncle to speed up liao. =P Fish n co. was not bad... Actuallie i think everything taste gd if the company is gd. Stupid shows still manage to b redeemed cos they provide hilarity if the company is gd. One of fish n co.'s lame jokes:
How do u contact a fish? Ans: drop it a line Saw tt some of the guys were less self conscious abt their botak heads, came without caps. *claps*
Pool at sg shopping centre was quite amusing. I haf no idea y but i felt pretty amused by everything last nite. Was in some kind of ecstacy, someone must haf spiked my fruit punch.
After a few games few of us went out to play at the mini, no i shld say micro-arcade. Raced erm wads tt racing game called keep saying it's tamiya but i knoe tts my bro's model racing cars. Came in 4th placing yay! Go me! (4 of us were playing) Bishee bashee was fun! I learnt tt i've pretty slow reflexes; red, green blue or issit blue green red argh nvm. I enjoyed the Photo Hunt game, when all of us huddled together n frantically poked at the touch-screen b4 time ran out. Managed to attain high score again heh heh heh, strength in numbers.
Sj n i wanted to try the swat-hseflies-wif-ur-hands-game, the sister of step-on-roaches game aka DDR. Ok i knoe it's so passe but i've neva tried it mah. Always wondered wads so great abt doing the sweeping actions to the prompting of arrows. But alas, it was not meant to b. First, even wif the help of xm n yz, we couldn't figure out how to start the game couldn't locate any start button so we thought maybe we had to do a swatting move over one of the sensors to get it to start. There the 4 of us were; swatting, stepping, tapping up, down, over, under, but no matter wad we did it wouldn't start until miraculously (one of us must haf hit something by accident) the music came on n the arrows started scrolling up. hooray! Next, we couldn't figure out how to activate the censors. I thought we were just supposed to sweep either over or under, but apparently tt didn't wrk so there we go again, 4 of us swatting, stepping, tapping up, down, over, under, till the song ended n the screen flashed in bold "Failed". We must haf been such a sight, a mob assulting the machine the gd thing is throughout the whole ordeal i was luffing my guts out. So much coverage over a machine tt didn't like us. spiffy.
After tt we popped over to PS carrefour cos someone wanted to get a drink. In the end someone discovered a drink dispenser wif those cute waxed conical paper cups to drink frm but i think the guys still bought soft drinks in the end. I dun get it wads wrong wif nice free plain water?
Proceeded back home... took some shots on the train wif lisa's new digicam. send me, send me! Been so long since i took the train back wif the 'yishun kias' too bad weiding wasn't there. Reached home ard midnight. Cinderella sia.
I know i shldn't haf read tt, but i was tempted to. Since i am provided wif, might as well. I knew i wouldn't like to know, n true enuff i didn't like wad i read. It's of no concern of mine and i shldn't let it bother me. But i'm unhappy abt it n i asked for it. Great. argh. I hate myself for feeling this way.
But den again it's gd in a sense tt i'd stick to my resolve. Maybe it's a blessing in disguise. I din fall too deep.
I dun need u now cos u didn't need me then.
wavering. wavering. wavering. wavering.
Perhaps it's not for me, it's not meant to be, like so many other things.
Now's not the time. Now's not my time.
So when? when? dun make me wait too long
I've choosen. *grins* Finally, after takin a day off frm wrk i've done all the necessary. I'll try not to change it. I'm still nt steadfast in my decision, i admit i'm fickle.
I dun feel like sleeping though i'm tired. I wanna keep awake cos when i open my eyes another day will pass me by. Another day i've wasted when i could haf done something fruitful. Wad is fruitful? Is this some 'early-life crisis'? I wanna quit my job n do something i reallie like. Even if tt means sitting ard the hse. I wanna do something... I haf to find tt something. Something tts fulfilling, something tt serves a purpose. This period is the prime time to learn a skill, go on a holiday, persue interests. I dun wanna do something tt i feel tt isn't fulfilling. I haf plenty of time to do mundane things(aka wrk) in the future. Nows the time to play play play! Even if it's not play, i wanna b useful. For once i wanna do something for myself.
Y do i stay awake?
Decisions decisions, i hate making decisions. If i had a strong focus and passion for wad i wanna do it'll probably make decision making so much easier. The fact tt the simple decision tt i make within this month would pave the way for my future is scary. N wads scarier is tt up till now i've still no clue as to what i wanna do. argh. Law? Dentistry? Engine? Science?
N if i wasn't such a scardey cat i'd go for it, make a move, wadeva. Now's the time rite? No pressing commitments. No studies, no obligations. Feels weird, I won't know wad to do. --" maybe I'm just reading too much into it nonetheless it was nice fantasy to indulge in. N to think felt flustered n giddy headed. Stupid.
Going back to wrk tmr boohoo n I haf to b there by 730, I dun think I can get up tt early. My 3 days off just passed like poof. I meant to spend this 3 days to seriously consider the courses I wanna take. But the first day I went out to watch "Haunted mansion", 2nd day stayed home to do nth, n today I went out to watch "Runaway Jury". But I guess the days haf not been a total waste in their unique ways. =P I've been watching way too many movies these few days, supposed to watch "Dirty Dancing" tmr but guess I'm not gonna due to change of plans. Wooo "My Girl" is coming out tmr I wanna watch, I wanna watch!
Did i mention tt i've been spending my time reading blogs n some of the backgrd of my fav reads r worsening my myopic condition. N music playing in the bkgrd gets real irritatin when i haf my mp3s playing. *hint hint*
If no one would love me, i'll haf to love myself. I've concluded tt i'll always be secondary. Some pple haf it n some pple dun, i'm learning accept tt i dun.