Saturday, April 29, 2006

The guiness book of records would have a new entry today:

Longest distance cycled at my 2nd successful attempt.

Kinda proud of myself, i'm comforted to know that I did it on my own and can truly say that i can cycle now.
Though i can't say i can turn yet. =x

Buttache sia...

I'm sorry. I could have been earlier if i ran faster, or left a few mins earlier.

Friday, April 28, 2006

Last nite i couldn't sleep...

Cos a bloody mosquito kept harassing me throughout the nite.
I thought by covering myself fully wif my tiny blanket i could prevent it frm biting me.
But the sly thing, it bit me on the forehead! roar!
So pisssed. So i got up and turned on the lights in hope of trying to catch the bugger.
But i couldn't find it, so I resorted to getting my bigger blankie out to cover me.
And guess what... it resorted to buzzing round my ear. Eee Eee eee.... Angry leh.

Throughout the nite i suffered more bites cos u know when u sleep u can't help it if ur leg/arm/head pops out from under the blankie. And i keep waking up to the Eee eee eee sound.

I couldn't take it anymore and brough my pillow and blankie to my parent's room. Still couldn't find the mosquito that made me wide awake at 730am so to soothe my anger I forced myself to lie in bed till it was noon. HAH!

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Decided to remove it... If you missed it too bad. Although that has to be one of the more real stuff that I have ever posted.
It was casting me in too much of a bad light hee. I need to make full use of CMC to craft my messages. To achieve cognitive consistency, the human tendency to want to portray themselves as inherently good to fit with the believe that they are good.

I was really touched these few days by encouragement from friends and family for the exams. The chatting, the phone calls, the smses, the vitasoy, the biscuits, the sweets, the dinners...
I even wrote on my post-it note "jia you, They're cheering for you!" I must be nuts. But it spurs me on.

When you let go of the anger and the hurt to try to focus on the positive things around you, miraculously you can find reallie wonderful things around.
The notes that I previously wanted to step on, told me that I would become a better person.
And I am going to try becoming a better person.
It shed light on the wrong routes that I've taken and how differently it could have been.
But it also says that somethings are due to other reasons that are not within the control, or rather mine.
Guess the CLalt just proved more lucrative, I just wonder whether the CL was up to expectations.
Ah well, I reckon the only way to rectify that would be to up my worth...
Recovery of my self-concept.
Have I entered the 'grave dressing stage'?
I'm still constantly reminded no doubt... Should i say 80% if the time? Still feel it strongly at times but i can't do anything but let myself calm down.
I tell myself that it's a normal reaction.

I subconsciously apply alot of the theory i've learnt to my life. I'd like to think that theory is socially constructed! Observations can't really be objective. Someone has taken note of what's going on and I think it's inevitable to bring in your personal experience and outlook unto the situation. The idea of imposing your own cultural background into interpretations has been raised by many theorist, so this is like someone else's idea which is socially constructed. So if everything is socially constructed, whats the use of theory. And the 'socially constructed' idea must be from someone and hence what's the point?!
Have I successfully confused you? I think I'm a parallel version of the Right Idealist. There's no point in trying to figure in sociological terms.
I confuse myself sometimes too. But it has been fun writing like that, and if anyone is able to follow my line of thinking pls tell me. I'll be glad to exchange 'pseudo-philosophy".

I should learn the way of the S.U.M.O. (shut up and move on) I don't really know what's the bona fide way, but I saw the acronym on tv and i liked it.

I'm beginning to find things to laugh about. Today, I tried hard to stifle my laughter because I was so amused by Dan-the-Man's radio show. I even found lyrics to 'sk8terboy' very funny. (notice the 8, how funny is that?! I wondered how come I never realised it before.)

My right eye has been/is twitching. Wenyi says it's zuo ji you xiong! Darn... Oh well, the xiong must be from the papers. Really 'xiong'. =P
My eyes are just protesting from the lack of sleep and the staring at pages and pages of words.

Supernanny is my favourite show! It reminds me of my pscyh modules and teaches me how to handle kids. When I see the change in how happy the families turn out in the end, I feel a kind of warm feeling like I wanna be part of that love too. I wanna be like supernanny. That's what I call a meaningful occupation.

1 more psych module to go. Did i tell u i love psych?

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Happy Easter~!

Perhaps the reason y all this happened is to give me a 2nd chance. To restart. Tabula rasa. And i should be grateful.
I reallie hope the negative thots disappear wif time, because I'm the only person making myself miserable.

As I saw them file up along the pews to be baptised, i wondered what was going through their minds?
What made them decide?
Would I have done the same?
What if I wasn't who I am today?

Thursday, April 13, 2006

People are so different from what they seem...
Have I been too quick to judge... I'm not supposed to be judging in the first place.
I seem to have made alot of mistakes along the way...
y do i remember them now? y didn't i see them earlier?

Closed my eyes in the train today, and when I open it i've reached... What happened along the way?
Everything i've missed, i've missed.
I can only strive to do better.
If you put your heart, mind and soul into it anything is possible. Or is it?

"One may think we’re doing fine. But if I had to lay it on the line, we’re losing ground with every passing day.
We’re not ok.
But that’s one thing I would I would never say to you. That’s one thing I would never say to you."

Monday, April 10, 2006

Nervous and jumpy... That's how I've been feeling lately. Just breaking out in cold sweat and there's a nagging in my head that keeps anticipating for something to happen, but I dunno what...
I've resorted to jogging just to tire myself out.
What is this nervousness I feel?

Friday, April 07, 2006

I've seem to have forgotten that I have friends who are around me looking over me.

Thank you Yiing for your listening ear and walks. I'm grateful to Wenyi for dispensing with good advice, and making me laugh. For yaya's comfy bed, presence and letting me hug your xiaodingdang.
And today to my surprise, I recieved a 'gi-normous' lollipop from dear Jasmine to cheer me up...

I feel blessed...
Now that the appetite is weaned, I haf to tackle the tummyaches...
It is a emotional roller-coaster experience, that hopefully would leave me stronger.

Sunday, April 02, 2006

Today, must be the saddest day of my entire life...