Thursday, April 28, 2005

I'm freaking bored... I watched tv, slept, finished knitting (more like stopped permanentl), went to the lib to look at pretty pictures, visited the beautiful 'hill' behind my house and finished watching Fruit Basket.

OH!! Fruit Basket is soooooooooo goood!!! I love kyo and yuki. i wanna watch it again n again n again. I think there's a part II to it. i want to watch. Any kind soul can lend it to me? I've been watching Shaman King on Central too. Nice! Anime ain't tt bad afterall.

It sucks when u have to do everything alone... poo...

I dun feel like wrking. cos i'd haf to wrk alone. =(
But wrking part-time is suppose to be good rite? Earn moolah while gaining experience. Any short stints to recommend?

Actually, i still have my driving n my filthy rm to pack. But i dun see the point in wasting money cos i know i'm gonna fail again. N my filthy rm is too messy, I don't reallie know where to start. It looks perfectly alright now cos i've got a teeny path for me to walk from the door to my bed. Once i start clearing one part, i upset the whole order of things. It's like having a perfectly balanced stack of books and trying to pull out a random book from the middle. Everything jus topples.

Darn.
If only all my stuff could jus disappear. Abracadabra *poof* The problem with stuff having sentimental value is tt i can't bear to throw them away.
"Oh! this paper has my favourite tcher's handwriting" -keep-
"Oh! this is the drumstick i used for syf, even though it's like 'battered' i can't bear to throw it." -keep-

I cannot type properly wif music. -_-

End soon! so u can come disturb me!!

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Angry.

Jus pissed.

Nth seems to be going right.

Angry at everyone.

Pfft.

Argh.

Get lost.

Monday, April 18, 2005

Gd news today, or should i say surprising. I neva thot that this day will come. hah! can't wait to meet the person and hear the whole story. somehow it's a weird mix of reluctance and excitement. Is this the same feeling mothers feel when their daughter gets married?
I jus hope its not a ploy to trick me heh, but nah i dun think so.
My little girl is all grown up!

4 down 2 to go.

I got her mixed up her bdae! shit. N i made extra effort to remember... the wrong date.

"I'm here without you baby, but u're still on my lonely mind.
I think about you baby, and i dream about you all the time."

Once upon a time, i would be over the moon to jus receive a single msg frm you. But i guess i've moved on. I've learnt to accept that if you didn't give a shit then, it makes sense that you won't give shit now. It made me wonder why the greeting, well technically it wasn't even a 'hello' or a 'how r u'. It was a "how's uni?". Upsetting that after all these while you weren't even concerned about how i was doing. I thought it was a unwritten rule that 'You pretend i'm not ard'. I tried to at least leave things on good terms but you weren't receptive. It hurt. As they say in hollywood movies "you cut me deep man!" Well if u're bored I'm sorry i don't wanna be someone to occupy you when you can't find anyone. I don't want to be a last resort.
I hope you're happy now that you've made me the cynical person that i am! No, i'm kidding. Natually cynical, don't give urself too much credit.
I can't believe this is nagging me again but now the difference is. This. Thought. Ends. Here.

Despite all this, a teeny weeny part is pleased that at least you're still well n fine... n tt you msned.

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Revenge is sweet...

DIE you evil mosquito!
That's for biting me 4 times on a single arm, twice on my right and once on my left leg.
Somehow the itch feels more bearable after i squash the bugger.

I'm amazed by how many times a single mosquito can attack. I hope there isn't another one lurking some dark crevice.

Despite 2 shitty papers, getting honked at, getting deprived frm my favourite sandwich, seeing someone i would rather not meet...
Guess who i also saw today!

My favourite psycho tutor! =)

Monday, April 04, 2005

It was as if i did it... although the thot is preposterous. I am deeply grieved though, the world has indeed lost a great person.
But the severity between the 2 cases is undoubtedly similar.
Henceforth, a new fear will linger, like a shadow it clings, like a dark cloud it hovers.
I'm appalled by my own lack of restraint. I realised the severe implications that it would have in the future, or on my faith for that matter. And it would definitely haunt me for the rest of my life. Jus goes to show how tainted n weak I am. Many 'What Ifs' do appear in my mind, n i shudder to think what i might have brought myself into.
Every word or hint of it jumps right at me.
This is wad being guilt-stricken feels like.
I'm sorry. I really am...