old draft i found. hahs.
I got into a hissy fit today, over something so trivial. Not that it was worth it. I just felt like it, it came as a good opportunity to let it all out.
Maybe it was the lack of food in my system.
I had an awful dream last night. A nice combi of my fear of heights and some other thing I did'nt like. And yes i threw a hissy fit in my dreams. I guess i just needed to get it out of my system.
At times i just wanna be alone in my bubble. But it's lonely in the bubble. It's such a mash of emotions and i just wanna scream at myself for wasting precious time.
So i watched some southpark to distract myself. still not good enough. wasted more time.
Maybe i'm being punished. sorry i really dunno why.
Is it time to move on already. It all seems so pointless. Tomorrow is the start of another week of stupidity.
Labels: Unloved., unsure
It's hard to speak the truth,
but it's always appreciated.
Labels: Crappy, Unloved.
the world hates me part II.
I'm having a cold war. And i haven't open my mouth to speak for the whole day, save for grunts when told dinner is ready. Yes, tt's how super mature i am.
today is self-inflicted torture, rocks my socks. I wonder whether i can still master the art of speech and faking happiness. hello hello?
don't feel like going anywhere wif anyone.
Labels: Unloved.
I'm so angry now, i think i could burst.
Why do u always do this to me.
Why do u keep asking me, when u want a set answer i cannot give, and refuse to give.
Why do u make me hate myself for saying things that i really mean.
Why do u come to such stupid conclusions.
I'm so freaking glad i'm leaving tmr.
Although i know i'd regret it throughout the seven days. that so screws my trip
Today is a bad day, cos it feels like the whole world hates me.
Labels: grumble, Unloved.
Disappointed.
Jus hate the feeling of waiting in vain.
Labels: Unloved.
Today is the day of making wrong choices.
From the choice of bus that never came, to the choice i made of not topping up my farecard to realise that i have no stored value and have to 'beg' for change. To be late. To speaking too much. To deciding too late.
Great.
I hope I did not make another wrong decision.
What is that feeling?
insecurity.
Labels: Unloved., unsure
Chryssie has grown.
That's the only good news today.
Labels: Unloved.
Empty promises of meeting up in the future.
Of hanging out sometime, of having a meal sometime, of going out together sometime.
Everytime i say 'okae' to people who ask to meet soon, in my heart of hearts I know the chance of that happening is very slim.
Is it jus you being polite?
I hold no hopes.
Labels: Unloved.
How horrid.
to be reduced to tears at the stroke of midnight.
Labels: Unloved.
I just need a little bit more assurance. a little more persuasion. a little more life.
Am feeling ostracised.
I think i got hit by case of mild paranoia.
Who cares what ppl think.
Who cares what ppl say.
Is this what i really want?
vexed.
Frustrated!
What do i want?
Not tt i don't want to go back. It's just this reluctance to face myself and what i've left behind. I feel like i'm responsible.
Ppl jus gotta learn to wrk together and put their differences aside. It's so unfeeling and might i add childish to pull the "i'm not friending him/her" game, N not see how it hurts the other person.
Maybe it's better to pretend you like the person then to show it out right. As hypocritical as it may be, at least it's less cruel.
Labels: Unloved.
Even if all the world hates u, don't worry. You have me.
It's times like this when i say to myself "it's alright, u can take me now."
when i know i dun really mean it.
wheeze.
Labels: Unloved.
I can pretend or i can tell the world.
I'm feeling sickicksicksicksicksiskcisksicksicksicksiskciskciskskciskicks.
Under the weather. Very very very.
Don't come back again u evil thing.
If u feel happy u will be healthy.
I need a hug n a kiss and tuck into bed.Labels: Unloved.