Confused.
I am confused. I know what is right, but still.
is it really right? will everyone be happy.
I shouldn't have to dwell on this. I shouldn't be affected.
I run and i run but still i can't shake it off. Is this a new test?
There is just something off. i always knew.
but why? what's wrong.
It's me. Fallible.
Labels: Evil, unsure
old draft i found. hahs.
I got into a hissy fit today, over something so trivial. Not that it was worth it. I just felt like it, it came as a good opportunity to let it all out.
Maybe it was the lack of food in my system.
I had an awful dream last night. A nice combi of my fear of heights and some other thing I did'nt like. And yes i threw a hissy fit in my dreams. I guess i just needed to get it out of my system.
At times i just wanna be alone in my bubble. But it's lonely in the bubble. It's such a mash of emotions and i just wanna scream at myself for wasting precious time.
So i watched some southpark to distract myself. still not good enough. wasted more time.
Maybe i'm being punished. sorry i really dunno why.
Is it time to move on already. It all seems so pointless. Tomorrow is the start of another week of stupidity.
Labels: Unloved., unsure
Why is it that I should feel elated but am not?
Why is it that I make a correct guess everytime?
Why is it that I feel disappointed?
Why is it that you don't understand?
I'm sorry.
Labels: Evil, unsure
If it's meant to be. Y am i distracted?
Labels: Evil, unsure
I'm waiting again.
That is not a good sign. Must. not. let. thots. run. wild.
It's the feeling tt i cannot shake. The yearning for that euphoric high.
The good thing is, day-dreaming never comes true. hooray!
Oddly I want to feel conflicted.
Labels: unsure
Everythings fine now...
I'm ok. =)
I'm not ready. because I'm not content. I want more. So as not to regret.
So that I can trust myself for life.
If one day i ever end up hurt you, pls forgive me.
Labels: unsure
Tomorrow is a new beginning...
I hope everything works out okay.
Labels: unsure
Getting a second chance is swaying my resolve. I close my eyes and imagine what it would be like. It would have been good.
But... I think 'could' would have to be a better word for now.
I pray that i made the right choice.
Labels: unsure
It shldn't have to be this difficult.
Labels: unsure
Somewhere along the line i jus became ordinary.
Somewhere along the line i distanced myself from everyone.
Somewhere along the line i just lost myself.
Somewhere down the line i think i will succumb to the pressure.
Jus leave me alone.
Labels: unsure
Today is the day of making wrong choices.
From the choice of bus that never came, to the choice i made of not topping up my farecard to realise that i have no stored value and have to 'beg' for change. To be late. To speaking too much. To deciding too late.
Great.
I hope I did not make another wrong decision.
What is that feeling?
insecurity.
Labels: Unloved., unsure
My future is bleak.
what if...
Then what?
one day at a time.
I've run out of them.
Reclusiveness. slowly disappear.
Labels: unsure
A hissy fit is wad i'd call it.
At that point of time it was pefectly justified. The difference became too glaring. I let something so unworthy spoil something that can be so great.
N den i became guilty. and i gave in. like i always do.
what is wrong with me.
N i tried to take a chance to find my way around. I didn't get lost, no way i can get lost when all i had to do was backtrack, but i couldn't find the way. Every turn i made was leading to the wrong path and I had to go back and try again. When i took the normal route, i realised that everything was just a turn away, if i'd taken that one i would haf reached much earlier.
But, I wouldn't know till i tried would i? Though it still feels like a lost.
Would I want it to be this way in the future. If it happens i'm so screwed.
I hate this uncertainness.
When i took the opportunity to say it out, it felt so good.
9 of 28. no displacement today.
Labels: unsure
I'm just too concerned with pleasing.
just do my best and let God deal with the rest.
Labels: unsure
I should just shut up sometimes.
But i feel like I should do what i like and say wad i like.
N be good to myself.
yes.
tts impt.
more water.
more ex.
more work.
Labels: unsure
n i know that it's not happily ever after.
because something tells me that in the process not everyone is pleased.
n until i can purge all memories that constantly nag at me, or undo all the self-convincing I know it's not a done deal.
It goes on, a recurring loop.
Until someone finally gives up.
to pursue or not to pursue, tt is the qns.
Don't tell me you're happy for me if you're not.*i can't believe i spelt pursue wrongly -.-" it's brainrot i tell u!Labels: unsure
Faced with objections.
I don't know what to do. Either way I make somebody unhappy...
Labels: unsure