I feel zi4 bei1 again, seems to happen everytime i browse friendster. Everybody is seemingly leading successful, pretty and happy lives. And i haf 2 weeks to exams, n i haven't studied. What happened to 'say NO to procrastination'? What happened to me? Social Comparison sucks. I should be happy. I am. But jus like any other human, i am not contented. So does tt mean i'm not?
Today as i sat at the dinner table wif my family at my grandma's place. Amidst the noisy atmosphere, there i sat thinking. It's jus like the family scene in the movies. Every one is chatting and laughing happily. I felt like i was an audience jus tt i was sitting in the picture instead of out of it. I should be happy cos i haf a family.
I excluded myself. Somewhere along the past 19 years, something happened.
I wish to be more driven, a little talent in some area would really help. I know i shouldn't complain, i should count my blessings instead.
Jus frustrated. over. nothing. argh.
I want a hug.
Jus came back form qing gong yan. not that bad i must say. I would have loved to stay for mahjong but it's jus not the right day or the right time to have it. But well, you know how the booking of chalets are "subject to availability".
Viewed the concert vcd, not bad too... i saw alot of my face! muahaha as compared to all the other concerts i've performed in. Saw lengzai n his hair-flipping-piano piece. =D shuai dai le! haha. One of the regrets for this concert is not watching him perform, the other is not taking enough pictures. Hence, for today's qing gong yan i compensated by trying to take alot. =P I can't wait for them. Pity someone wasn't in it. =/ Poo.
Tired. Looks like tmr will be no-sleep-rush-103-report day. Pray for me.
Baby can i hold you tonight - BoyzoneSorry, is all that you can say
Years gone by, and still Words don't come easily
Like sorry.
Forgive me is all that you can say
Years gone by, and still Words don't come easily
Like forgive me
But you can say, baby
Baby can I hold you tonight
Baby if I told you the right word
Ooh, at the right time You'd be mine
I love you (ooh)
Is all that you can say
Years gone by, and still
Words don't come easily(words don't come easily)
Like I love you, I love you
But you can say, baby
Baby can I hold you tonight
Baby if I told you the right words
Ooh, at the right time
You'd be mine
Nice song. Didn't know it's jus a repetition of words till i read the lyrics.
I must state tt i din get paid for call centre shit work in the end. Nvm.
Long time no blog. Why? Felt like blogging, but the topic i wanted to blog abt led to an inner struggle tt went like this "to blog or not to blog, tt is the qns". Hence, with all the tussling in my mind, it dragged on n on and finally it's 'old news' not worth typing anymore. Sometimes it's better to keep opinions or feelings to yourself, kinda works betta that way. And then sometimes because i've already had an outlet to express, it makes typing here obsolete.
Lack of sleep+stress = sickness. I think it's more of the stress than the sleep. I jus had 4 presentations in a week. Go me. As i've said, i am YIN-VIN-SEE-BEL.
The speech one sorta sucked. I think i'm jus nt cut out to speak infront of a crowd. This is called Social Inhibition my friends! (I think Grace, xiuling and crystal would be nodding their heads in agreement.) I shall include a self-serving bias by adding tt my lack of memory capacity results in me not being able to remember the pts i want to get across hence i haf to keep referring to my script. Muahaha. From speech writing, I realised that i am not good at making transitions and thus my points don't really flow. They r just random globs tt form in my head and my mouth just spits out the chucks without stringing them in nice complete sentences.
I jus finished typing my part for 102 report. I hate report writing cos i hate writing in the first place. Which brings me back to not being able to string nice, flowing, complete sentences and not being able to express my point coherently. It's frustrating when u're unable to get ur point across.
Video shooting is fun in a way. Yet, it's bloody tedious n taking up too much of my time. Wait till i get to editing and website designing, all hell will break loose. Doesn't help that i am an E-diot. crap.
Diss myself entry.
Maybe i've neglected a few pple. Sometimes i can't help it. I dun reallie have enough "Me" time already. And it's become tiring to keep up with work n all. I try as much as i can to show concern, I'd like to think that i am not tt heartless, but it's not reallie in me to do tt. Procrastination hasn't made life any better. I still haven't thought of 103 topic and i haf a presentation on Monday. *cries* Somebody Save Me.
Had a little talk wif mum. Maybe i shld stay at home instead of the hostel. I do miss home n maybe i could help out.