Saturday was supposed Day 1 of getting a break, we spent a good half of the day trying to do a general vaccuum cleanup of the house before rakuelle & naterokun came over to play board games and subsequently eso.  We met up for lunch at M'sian food street. The day was fun, were i momentarily forgot that i was unhappy. It was a day i could pretend that life was good.

Sunday Day 2 was tough. As i woke up with the feeling of anxiety again. Thinking about what to do do i throw away my stable career that was eating me up. Slept in as much as i can. Not successful though. Lunch was the peking duck with kong bak bao at our favourite Bee Heong restaurant. We went there as we wanted to get some pet supplies from Catsmart. They renovated and their fuffly cats were out to play. It's funny as i typed i thought this was Saturday. Woe is me with my brain. Ergo, another compelling reason why this is loop is eating me up.

Monday Day 3 today, went to the dentist as i thought wad do you normally want to do but could not do? What would you lose if you left, dental benefits. Damn. T'was expensive. Afterwhich i spent a long time deciding what to do next. Starwars exhibit at Art Science museum using my Sg Rediscovery vouchers? Going to East Coast park? Going to Garden's by the bay thereafter? Dammit brain just decide. I should backup to say that i actually watched a Ted talk video by a neuroscientist who was promoting the benefits of exercise on the brain. She said that it would allow for greater focus, mood lifter, as well as giving the brain a longer runway to deal with the effects of degenerative diseases. Have i heard it before? Yes. Have i followed it to a T? No. It's hard when the first thing you do is wake up to work and then the last thing you do after wrk is eat and then sleep. Some people say it's an excuse. Wake up earlier then, sleep later then and i even know of living examples who do this. why can't i do it? Because my energy level is 0. Mind over matter, my mind is not doing well to matter. 

So so so.. which bring me back to my Day 3, while i was being indecisive, i decided to grab lunch. Setting my eyes on the nearest food place i.e. Mos burger. Let me choose the healthier option, i told myself. "Fish burger, no mayo"..."mos chicken meal, w ice tea". Instant negating my decision of a healthy meal. Adding to that the auntie immediately made my tea medium instead of small. Which i didn't tell her to change it, when i saw she already deftly prepared the tea. One of my pet peeves about myself is just accepting things i do not want. Mental note made to change that starting that moment always makes me upset at myself. So this set me back $10. I thought i was trying to see whether i can live on less? So while i was munching on my fish burger, i decided to take the scenic 975 bus route. pass tranquility you say, maybe pop by the farms. 

I was entirely sure on how to get there, but looking at the bus route it seemed like i could take it all the way from Bukit Panjang Bus interchange (which was a bitch to get there as i needed to change to the light rail from the Mrt), or Choa Chu Kang MRT and then look for the bus stop which seemed like a walk away. i did the only logical thing, I decided to just wing it. The mrt journey from Yishun, to Choa Chu Kang (CCK) was long, although not as long as when i went to NTU, it seemed like i had more patience then. To my defense the weather today was helleva hot. I reached CCK and saw that it linked to the LRT. Maybe i could get to Phoenix station and then cross over to the bus stop, seems nearer then from CCK, and i did that. Upon reaching i decided to look for a place to empty my bladder before the long bus ride.