Sunday, December 17, 2006

Just the other day, I was doing my business in the loo and i forgot to bring my book in to read (wad? some pple bring laptop in to msn ok! hehe) and my mind was left to wonder.

It all boils down to attitude and effort.
If I take the effort to say "hi", pple will return the greeting. If I make an effort to be genuinely interested, pple will be willing to hold a conversation. I find that some things I hear can and may become useful in the future. It might even be a "snapple-fact" that I could be passed to someone else for fun.

It's only when i chat with someone when I get to learn more about the person. Learn more abt what they do and what they like. N everyone has interesting facts that I discover as I get to know them better. It's similar to reading blogs, where i can slowly make out what the person is like. (for me, u all now know tt I read in the toilet, woops. I can read anything n everything when i'm in the loo, newspapers, books, notes 'cept ghost stories, that i try to avoid =x)

If I keep an open mind when I meet pple-who-are-rumoured-to-be-not-nice can turn out okae. But I acknowledge that I'm bias. So it takes tt extra effort.
I know it doesn't feel good to be excluded, so I try my best not to do that. Even if u're that way I think it's basic courtesy not to show it, cause it hurts pple. But u know the body lang sometimes betray a person.

On another note, I wished I could read minds. Then I wouldn't have to guess what pple are thinking. Then I would know what to do right to make everyone happy. But I wouldn't want anyone reading my filthy thots, paiseh.

The topic about minds brings me to the issue of internal consistency. The body does what the mind thinks or vice versa to bring balance in a person. In other words, if the body has to do something that is not in line with a person's values. Either, the body attempts to stop doing the action to be compatible wif it's values or, the person changes it's thinking to fit what the body has to do. I feel that sometimes i'm caught in the position of the latter.

I have to do things that put me in a spot. In order to please pple yet fulfill my so-called "obligations" to the choices that I did not make but haf to follow, I have to keep justifying myself to people. No doubt I welcome enquiries, it gives me insight to what has been missed or what needs to be done. I don't particularly enjoy justifying decisions that I myself object to and yet have to follow. I feel like i'm at the end of the finger that pts and say "aiyo, y u make such a decision?". N seriously, it doesn't feel very good.

On the other hand, I know that to make things work is not about creating an uprising, but rather to work round the however seemingly incredulous decisions that pple make, and try to make it work. So, I'm trying to keep my cool and think of how to go on from there, and not of what could have been done. Cos what should-be-done should be thought of before any action is taken.

I'm not perfect, and pple do make mistakes so bear/wrk wif me will ya?

I can't make everyone happy. Because at the end of the day, I'll be the most miserable one.
N i'll remind myself abt, say it wif me, poh-zee-tee-vee-tee, positivity.

by tab at 1:43 AM |