Contemplations

Sunday, November 19, 2006

I love happy endings... even if they're not mine.
but these happy endings somehow make me sad. N makes me feel like crap.
"somedays i hate everything. everyone and everything. Pls don't tell me everything is wonderful now. Pls don't tell me everything is wonderful now."

Warm fuzzy feeling is gone.
maybe going to a wedding would do the trick.

"when u come home baby. i knoe somehow tt ur eyes have gone astray."
that gaze, broke my heart.
"n how i cried n tried n tried to make u stay with me, but still u said tt love was gone n i had to leave..."
those words.
"is it all tt great without me? I really want to know, was it easy to forget me?
cause ur eyes r saying no. did u find a broken rainbow with an empty pot of gold.
If it's all tt great without me. Then i'm glad u let me go.

I don't mean to sound so vengeful, or to hit u when u're down.
but u took my house of dreams n burnt it to the ground. n now u say u're really sorry, well there's really nice to hear. but where were u when everything we had got up n disappeared?"
Tried to let it go by rationalising my way through.
crappy songs.
but i still can't help it.
"nan dao ni hai mei kan dao zhen ge tian man man hui diao.
ni shuo de wo dou zuo dao jiu chu le ba ni gei wang diao.
nan dao ni hai mei ting dao wo de xin man man sui liao
lian dian hua wo dou shan diao
ke shi ni de xiao zhe me qing chu diao?
wang ye wang bu diao."

"all i know is tt i'm lost without u, i'm not gonna lie. How am i gonna be strong without u i need u by my side. if we never say we'll never be together in the end you wave gdbye. dunno wad i'd do. I'm lost without u."

"I close my eyes when it gets too sad, I think bad thots tt i know are bad. Close my eyes and I count to ten, hope it's over when i open them. I want the things i had b4...I wish i could count to ten, make everything be wonderful again."
nth will be wonderful, stop asking me to cheer up.

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