Sunday, December 26, 2004

Merry X'mas~!

Went to dot's hse to stay over. We were talked abt alot of stuff, one of which was abt him. N after so long i still can't fight the tears and the overwhelming sadness tt engulfs. Recalling and telling it in chronological order jus brings memories and the emotions back.

Remembering as much as i'd like to let it all out, i didn't want to cos well a slobbering idiot is not a pretty sight. So i repressed as much as i could. My superego's defence. Even if i had to cry no one shld haf to see it. Knowing tt if i started, it would b quite hard to stop.

It's sad to think tt the one who seemed so close, now wouldn't even bother to hold a decent conversation.
The person whom once seemed to care so much, now wouldn't care if u existed or not.
The person u miss will b the one u will neva get to see.

It just hurts.

I haf accepted tt the person i knew is not there anymore, and i guess will never b there for me anymore. N i must constantly remind myself of this fact.

Sometimes when i'm walking alone on the street cynical mind tells me tt being alone is best.
You report to no one but urself. The only pain u will feel would b self inflicted.
N there's no one to blame but urself.
The only and best person to love you is urself. *muacks* I love me!!

Doesn't sound merry at all does it? It's jus 1 aspect of the day.
Don't worry, it was a merry merry merry christmas. =0)

by tab at 2:30 AM |