Monday, January 12, 2004

Each day i wonder, how can someone be childish in some areas n yet be so mature in others. Beguiling... had us all fooled. So is it this or is it that. But as the song goes, "I can see clearly now the rain is gone, i can see all obstacles in my way.", I hanker no more cos I understand and haf come to accept tt it was just me n my childish thinking. Maybe it's not childish, it's more of like a 'want' for the attention. Just a phase in growing up. Well, i found how to satisfy tt feeling by shifting the focus =P but now i'm well aware tt it's just a lil' fantasy tt i hold on in order to just experience the euphoria all over again. All gd fantasies will come to an end hahaha... How could i haf been so blinded by it? How could i have not seen n understood it earlier. At least i'm aware now, at least more aware than i was b4.

I believe in being positive n looking at the bright side of things, of humans. Nth happens without a reason, which we might probably learn of later in life. Everyone deserves a benefit of doubt. To always assume the positive explaination before moving on a negative one makes life more bearable and reduces conflict. If only i could bring myself to say wad i actually mean den it would make all these sound logical. These few days i've been feeling like shit. 2004 hasn't been great for me yet. Everything seems to b going the wrong direction.

The bouts of loneliness have become more frequent. Maybe i asked for them. Sometimes it makes me feel like crying out of nowhere. How could i feel lonely if pple are around? I believe it's more of a "y do i feel lonely if pple r ard?"

by tab at 1:49 AM |