Friday, April 04, 2003

30/3/2003
It’s 11, I’m still awake. I haven’t been online for 4 whole days. 2 more days to go. I can do it man! Heh. I’ve been sleeping at 2am almost everyday watching the tele, reading the collection of short stories I borrowed from the library. The stupid cough won’t go away it gets worse especially at night which is probably what keeps me awake. I don’t have SARS don’t worry. I wonder what the people who got it do in the isolation wards. Then again they’ll be too weak to do anything anyway. To be isolated is one of the worse things that can happen I think. The feeling of loneliness sets in, just eats you up and makes you want to cry. I guess that’s a little of what’s happening now. No where to go, at home most of the day. I miss school, not the lessons but the company. Having a bro who bugs you to play carrom just ain’t enough. Besides there’s no irc to release my crap. I’m so bored that I read my pte chat logs. I feel quite stupid doing it really but it still doesn’t cease to fascinate me. It seems like little short stories. I read through it and realize information that I overlooked. Bits of info that are indications to how things have turned out which I failed to detect. No. I did detect it I just didn’t want to assume. Why did I log my chats anyway? To look back. If only memories could be logged and then played. The clarity of pleasant memories retained in my mind just isn’t good enough. Photographs are probably the next best thing. Yet, I shouldn’t look back and constantly dwell on what has happened, I’ll neglect what is to come. The earth still revolves.

“I’ve realized a great many things since getting here. Among them that… the mouse marathon goes on for u not because u expect to get somewhere, but because as long as you can still run, the wheel keeps spinning beneath your feet and there is assurance in knowing that you are a part of the world and the world is still alive.
The earth is turning beneath my feet too. I don’t know if we’ll ever be together again but I know I love u and I want u to know that too. Whatever you want, I want for you. GO FOR IT! If anybody can, you can. You’ll always be my superstar.”
The mouse marathon-Ovidia Yu

Sometimes situations and things all seem déjà vu to me.
Everything seems to be linked. Just like the passage I read above.

by tab at 7:02 PM |