Friday, April 04, 2003

22/3/2003
I had a meeting today. It was rather boring really. I'm really wondering whether i should continue with it. It's not like i do not have the time. It's my time management lah. I should b able to juggle hw, cca, church it's not alot as compared to others. I just wanna stone/slack, it most probably is in my blood. I dun want to b obligated into doing anything. If u tell me i have to do it, i'll most probably give u crap cos i dun want to do it, i'm forced to. When i feel forced into something i would want out. I guess that explains why. Now i have to choose, should i just leave? Drop everything, rethink and den carry on or should i just hold on. Just have faith, it will all work out afterall it always does rite? He will make a way. Back abt the meeting, after tt we had a little fellowship = makan+talk. Since all of them were adults except 3 other 'younger ones'(me included) and 3 'younger than younger' ones and 1 youngest one. Alright tts rubbish, my point is they were all rather senior and the rest were too young. So during the fellowship i sat wif the other 2 who were my age. I felt kinda left out in their conversation cos they were talking abt their poly stuff, i know nothing about poly lor. So i just sat there listened and smiled. Not that i could reallie get what they were saying. They did ask me about how i was getting along wif jc life but aiya.. who wants to listen to boring jc life if u can't relate to it. So i just summarized the answers and smiled. Then i wondered off. I went to play with the 'youngest' and her balloon. I guess i'm belong to the little ones cos i'm freaking 5 yrs old.(refer to previous post) She just passed me the balloon once den i tossed it back to her. Then the others came along to play with her too. The 'youngest' was more interested in playing with the other 'younger than younger' ones... so the 3 of us where back at where we were. Talking abt poly whilst standing. I just kept quiet n smiled again. Someone there asked me "agl, r u a homebound person?" i was thinking: "wad?!" it came out as "I beg ur pardon". She was asking whether i preferred to be at home cos i give her that impression. I told her "hmm.. when i'm out i wanna go home but when i get home i wanna go out" How's that for an answer? Stupid rite? heh.. i dun care. Maybe i might seem anti-social, I'm not reallie if i'm comfortable with the surroundings. Then she said that i start to sound like another close fren, must b because i hang out too long with her. Hello? I haf always been speaking like tt, just not to you cause the opportunity i have to a decent conversation wif u is at a minimum and sometimes i feel that keeping quiet is what is required. I'm not like her. I don't care what you think of me an anti-social, an idiot.. i dun freaking care.

by tab at 7:01 PM |