Thursday, November 07, 2002

I'm so elated now...can't help smiling.. i wanna jump jump jump jump for joy. Why? Cause someone cares. ha! My friend msged me and i didn't reply (cause being the pig i am i was sleeping), and he called to make sure i was ok. So sweet rite? It's these little acts of concern and sincerity that moves me, not presents, not treats. (not that i would mind though =P) Sometimes we all long for people to tell us how important we are to them. Simple statements like "I miss you" leaves a tingly feeling in my tummy but it must be genuine lah. How to tell whether it's genuine? *shrugs* Gut feeling...heheh notice the play on words, you don't? Nevermind then.
I don't believe i'm typing this for the world to see. *hides face* Darn paiseh...It's ok, i'm learning to open up. Learning to be more affectionate. The problem with Asians i guess. Being too conservative, hiding their emotions.. i don't want to be like that, i want to let others know when they matter to me. Is it better this way? I have absolutely no idea but i would prefer it to be.

The MBTI workshop today was cool~ Not really accurate for me though. The part on being an extrovert. I'm more of an introvert. But then again, it was a one point differential to becoming an introvert so maybe it's accurate. Bleah, I just contradicted myself. Like what the speaker said, i'm generally quiet but when i'm relaxed i can "hee hee ha ha" like i am an extrovert. However, once someone unfamiliar arrives(classic eg. today's trip to seoul garden) i pipe down alot. I'd rather sit and watch anything that's on the television although i'd rather go sleep, because my parents would start asking whether i'm ok and stuff watching the box would seem a more normal affair. I like to sleep alot, physical inactivity hehe... I sleep in hope of dreaming up pleasent dreams. Dreams that would leave me with a floating feeling and then i wouldn't want to get out of bed.(pig!) It's been quite sometime since i've had one of those. Anyone know how to induce dreams? Cause i really want that kind of feeling again. Ah.. I'm a Feeling person. hee. So don't tell me my handwriting's untidy because i might end up writing ABCs over and over again to please you. It's true, i like to please people. I don't want anyone to be angry at me. I'd rather be the one to take it all. That's another reason why i don't tell others my problems and anxieties, I don't want them to be worried because i'd also end up worrying about them being worried about me. hahaha. Silly me. yarlar yarlar i knoe. Enough for today. Time to lapse into the unconscious realm. I do hope i'd get my wish for a dream!

"Say nighty night and kiss me. Just hold me close and tell me you miss me. While i'm alone and blue as can be. Dream a lil' dream of me!" =)

by tab at 1:39 AM |